There is no shortage of fitness apps out there motivating you to run. But funnily enough, there are no apps acknowledging the fact that sometimes you simply don’t want to.
Welcome to the first app that demotivates you: Beat the Blerch. Beat the Blerch is an infinite running game like no other. Because it has donuts. And it periodically insults you, and the horse you rode in on.
It’s game is based on the blobby character, and race series originated by Matthew Inman. Creator of The Oatmeal and author of the best-selling book The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances. It’s no secret we’re big fans of Matthew. Last year we had the opportunity to bring his personal story to life through our Seeker Series, which featured his now famous character, The Blerch.
The Blerch represents every runner’s inner desire to skip a run, grab a bag of cheese doodles, and slump it on the couch. He follows you around pretending to be a pal when deep down all he wants is someone to share a bucket of lard with.
The Blerch: An imaginary creature representing your darkest, most sloth-like desires to take it easy, skip your run, and eat all the cake you can get your hands on.
You: The runner. You must somehow summon the motivation to keep running to stay one step ahead of the Blerch. Avoid all the giant donuts, big slurp fountains and beer krakens (yes, beer krakens) he throws in your way to stop you.
And the demotivation continues outside the game. With original, occasionally hysterical, messages and notifications from the Blerch to you. Demotivating you from working out and encouraging you to sit down, binge watch TV and eat some cake. Eat the whole damn thing.
Do you have the fortitude to withstand the temptation, and stick to your run? Or will you be lured into a Mayonnaise Hell Pit (yes, it’s a thing).
Download the game and tell us what you think!